About denial, and how to live with it.
Denial is probably one of the most commonly used (or misused) survival techniques when dealing with really bad news. One of the first things we may want to do or say when confronted with the horrific or unimaginable is "I can't believe! No, this can't be happening." If we are mentally healthy, then we quickly adjust to the news, grieve for the news (a process, not a project that can be quickly accomplished) and learn to gradually accept and live with the facts we previously thought to be impossible or unacceptable. If we are healthy, we do this even if the situation cannot be made right. If our theology is right, we have faith that God can make the greatest of tragedies have meaning and purpose that results in His glorification; and good is accomplished in the world. It takes real faith to believe that the death of an innocent child can accomplish some good. It takes courage to face the certainty of one's own mortality when the means to that is some horrific disease. It takes a faith that transcends that of most believers to have sufficient confidence in the love of God that all fear is cast aside. But, it is a faith that can be developed, and one which requires renewal, regeneration, encouragement on a daily basis.

"You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." I believe that this applies to much more that simply knowing and understanding God's word. I believe that this applies to our own mortality, our relationships, virtually every aspect of our lives. But it takes strength to accept truth and be free of fear.

Fear keeps us from enjoying so very much of life. I watched my 10 year old daughter stand at the end of a diving board again and again, afraid that the entry into the water would hurt her if she went in head first. Again and again she would hesitate on the end and ultimately jump in with feet and hands entering simultaneously. No demonstrations by her brother, her mother, or myself could convince her that the head-first entry of a dive would not hurt her. We pleaded, we cajoled, we promised, but the legs would fold at the last second and and hands and feet entry would result, with its attendant disappointment. Finally, the courage developed (or she slipped) so that she went in head first; and the result was astonishing. She immediately swam to the side and repeated the dive - over and over; now assured that the water would not hurt her if she went in head first. While swimming is a benign form of recreation; there are so many things in life that we should view in just this manner - for the Christian including physical decline and death. Unfortunately, we don't get to do it over and over once we get it right. We can, however, experience life vicariously through our Christian brothers and sisters who do get it right, and develop the courage we need by following in their footsteps

We sing the song "Where's thy victory, boasting grave.....Where, O Death is now thy sting"; yet we shrink from the brink when the bell sounds its toll for us or for our loved ones.

Death and pain are just as much a part of life here on Earth as are birth and pleasure. They are transient stages/conditions that must be endured if we are to enter eternity to live with the father. To face these stages or conditions with denial places an unbearable burden on ourselves, our loved ones, and those who would help us through life's journey.

"I can't take anymore!" is a denial - a denial that God is with us, a denial of the power of the Holy Spirit, and a denial that God can make all things ultimately work together for good to those that love Him. Denial by an otherwise healthy person is tantamount to cowardice in the face of the enemy. It will never glorifiy God; and it will never work for joy.

Do not misunderstand; this is not an indictment of those who are mentally compromised. I believe that those are opportunities for the healthy Christian to show compassion, tolerance, endurance; and most of all real sacrificial love. Submission is not going along with someone when we agree with them or their approach; it is going along when we disagree. It is letting them have their own sometimes deluded way when we would never do it that way ourselves.

I am now 60 years of age, in apparent good health (except for my left fibula; and that should be fine in a few more weeks); and I take pretty good care of myself - not so that I can live a long time; but so that I can live well as long as I live. I really view my body as a tool that God has entrusted to me. He expects me to use it, clean it, care for it, and generally maintain its utility until it is worn out or broken in His service. After that, He will call me home. He does not expect me to worship the tool, or preserve it for its own sake, or to prolong my life here. This world is not my home - it is my tour of duty in His war with evil. I already know who has won the war; but I am called to be a soldier in the fight. Any time that I refuse to believe or accept the KP at the rear of the action or the suicide charge at the front; I am a deserter to His cause. That is not an option. I do not get to choose my duty station; God is my commanding general. I do not volunteer for suicide charges, nor do I sign up for KP - I am a soldier; and I go where I am sent by His will. If I am sent to grieve the loss of a child, a spouse, my health; then I will accept the assignment as I did my orders to sea when in the Navy. Now as then; God will provide the means to endure; and shorten the time of trial to the bearable point, and in the end be glorified.

I would urge with all of my might that any reader of this resolve to be one who faces life abandoning denial, and accepting with grace whatever fate dispenses in such a way that God is glorified. Bearing the unbearable, hoping the impossible, forgiving the unforgiveable, loving the unloveable, dying the hero's death once instead of the coward's 1000 deaths, with the surety and hope of the resurrection.